Desperate Housewives
There Won't Be Trumpets
TV Flash files “There Won't Be Trumpets” as hour 17 of 180 in the TV Flash guide — Desperate Housewives (2004–2012) on ABC, season 1, episode 17, aired 2005-04-03, 43 min.
From the desk
How this hour is filed
This leaf is S01E17: listed hour 17 of 180 in the Desperate Housewives guide, hour 17 of 23 in season 1. It aired 2005-04-03 (43 min). The listed hour before it is “The Ladies Who Lunch” (S01E16). Next is “Children Will Listen” (S01E18).

Catalog log
Broadcast listing — not a TV Flash recap.
Juanita Solis finally awakens from her coma, but dies after falling down the stairs before she could reveal Gabrielle's affair with John to Carlos. The residents attend Juanita's funeral, where Gabrielle argues with Carlos about getting his mother a crypt. However, Gabrielle also finds out that the hospital was negligent of mother-in-law's death and in return, they offer her a seven-figure settlement. Lynette befriends a deaf woman named Alisa Stevens (Marlee Matlin) whose daughter attends Barcliff Academy with the twins, but is infuriated by her husband who takes advantage of her disability to insult her behind her back. After a series of violent outbursts by Andrew, Bree and Rex contemplate putting him in Camp Hennessy, a teenage rehabilitation camp. Susan finds herself attracted to Edie's new contractor, but Edie prevents her from dating him. Mike tries to explain his past by giving Susan a confession letter, which she hesitates to read.
Viewer FAQ
Where does There Won't Be Trumpets sit in the Desperate Housewives guide?
S01E17 is listed hour 17 of 180 — hour 17 of 23 in season 1, season 1 episode 17.
When did Desperate Housewives S01E17 air?
There Won't Be Trumpets aired 2005-04-03 and is listed at 43 minutes.
Where should I start Desperate Housewives?
The pilot. Mary Alice is the first leak, the lawn is the rope line, and the four women are already not amicable. Starting mid-mystery is how you miss who owed whom.
In the series
Why this series still plays
Four women, one lane, a narrator who already knows the bodies. Watch it when you want soap that dresses like a mystery and gossips like a crime blotter. The lawns are the red carpet; the HOA is the publicist; nobody on Wisteria was ever amicable, including the dead.
Flash: a lawn so even it looks like a press kit, and a woman who is already dead enough to narrate. Desperate Housewives premiered on ABC in 2004 like a velvet-rope crime scene — Teri Hatcher’s Susan, Felicity Huffman’s Lynette, Marcia Cross’s Bree, Eva Longoria’s Gaby, Nicollette Sheridan’s Edie circling the wreckage while Brenda Strong’s Mary Alice told on everybody from the other side of the hedge. The museum desk wants “suburban satire.” Cute. The lane is an afterparty with an HOA. **They are not amicable.**…
Filed against
- Teri Hatcher as Susan Mayer
Teri Hatcher’s Susan Mayer stumbled through Desperate Housewives’ Wisteria Lane secrets — primetime soap revival with mystery scaffolding, four women, perfect lawns, and a narrator who already knew the bodies. Lois & Clark heat came…
- Felicity Huffman as Lynette Scavo
Felicity Huffman played Lynette Scavo on Desperate Housewives — the working-mom weather on a lane that gossiped like a crime blotter. Perfect lawns, imperfect sleep, a mystery dressed as a soap. TV Flash files her as Wisteria's most…
- Marcia Cross as Bree Van de Kamp
Marcia Cross’s Bree Van de Kamp is the pressed-linen crime scene of Desperate Housewives — perfection as armor on a Wisteria Lane that gossiped like a blotter. Marc Cherry’s ABC soap dressed like a mystery; Cross played the neighbor whose…
- Eva Longoria as Gabrielle Solis
Eva Longoria played Gabrielle Solis on Desperate Housewives — Wisteria Lane glamour as a contact sport, lawns as red carpet, an HOA that gossiped like a crime blotter. TV Flash files her as the primetime soap's most camera-ready secret,…
- Nicollette Sheridan as Edie Britt
Nicollette Sheridan’s Edie Britt circled Wisteria Lane like a press kit with a pulse — real-estate glam, neighbor as rival, the fifth woman the mystery soap could not keep in the hedge. Desperate Housewives dressed like a crime blotter.…
- Brenda Strong as Mary Alice Young
Brenda Strong narrated Desperate Housewives as Mary Alice Young — the dead neighbor who made Wisteria Lane’s secrets appointment TV. Voiceover as primetime soap scaffolding. TV Flash files her as the lawn-perfect ghost who started every…