Nicollette Sheridan

Marc Cherry’s primetime soap arrived on ABC in 2004 as a velvet-rope crime scene: four housewives, perfect lawns, and a narrator who already knew the bodies. Sheridan’s Edie is the realtor who treats the neighborhood like inventory and the other women like competing listings.

She is not the museum’s suburban-satire mascot. She is heat in a camisole — the neighbor who makes the HOA look like a publicist and the lawns look like a cover-up. Susan, Lynette, Bree, and Gaby got the mystery scaffolding; Edie got the glance that turned a block party into a deposition.

s01e01 is the first crime scene as a lawn, the narrator already the leak. s01e23 is season one’s closer as carpet night: everyone in a look engineered for “we were never fine.” s04e09 is tornado as guest list — who shares a basement is the seating chart. Sheridan circles all three like a listing that will not stay in the hedge.

TV Flash keeps Edie in the seating chart because the gossip engine needed a woman who would not pretend the lane was amicable. The series ran through 2012 as mystery dressed like a blotter. On this desk she is Wisteria’s uninvited extra season: real-estate glam as rival weather, the fifth woman the press kit could not file under neighborly. ABC kept the lane through 2012; Edie’s listing never went amicable. The blotter still files her as heat the four-housewife masthead could not hedge. Heat in a camisole, still the lane’s most dangerous listing.