Desperate Housewives
Crime Doesn't Pay
TV Flash files “Crime Doesn't Pay” as hour 103 of 180 in the TV Flash guide — Desperate Housewives (2004–2012) on ABC, season 5, episode 16, aired 2009-03-08, 60 min.
From the desk
How this hour is filed
This leaf is S05E16: listed hour 103 of 180 in the Desperate Housewives guide, hour 16 of 24 in season 5. It aired 2009-03-08 (60 min). The listed hour before it is “In a World Where the Kings Are Employers” (S05E15). Next is “The Story of Lucy and Jessie” (S05E17).
Catalog log
Broadcast listing — not a TV Flash recap.
While helping Tom Scavo find a new job, Bree discovers something shocking about Orson; Carlos' adulterous boss uses Gaby as his cover; Edie probes Dave's past after a chance encounter with an old acquaintance.
Viewer FAQ
Where does Crime Doesn't Pay sit in the Desperate Housewives guide?
S05E16 is listed hour 103 of 180 — hour 16 of 24 in season 5, season 5 episode 16.
When did Desperate Housewives S05E16 air?
Crime Doesn't Pay aired 2009-03-08 and is listed at 60 minutes.
Where should I start Desperate Housewives?
The pilot. Mary Alice is the first leak, the lawn is the rope line, and the four women are already not amicable. Starting mid-mystery is how you miss who owed whom.
In the series
Why this series still plays
Four women, one lane, a narrator who already knows the bodies. Watch it when you want soap that dresses like a mystery and gossips like a crime blotter. The lawns are the red carpet; the HOA is the publicist; nobody on Wisteria was ever amicable, including the dead.
Flash: a lawn so even it looks like a press kit, and a woman who is already dead enough to narrate. Desperate Housewives premiered on ABC in 2004 like a velvet-rope crime scene — Teri Hatcher’s Susan, Felicity Huffman’s Lynette, Marcia Cross’s Bree, Eva Longoria’s Gaby, Nicollette Sheridan’s Edie circling the wreckage while Brenda Strong’s Mary Alice told on everybody from the other side of the hedge. The museum desk wants “suburban satire.” Cute. The lane is an afterparty with an HOA. **They are not amicable.**…
Filed against
- Teri Hatcher as Susan Mayer
Teri Hatcher’s Susan Mayer stumbled through Desperate Housewives’ Wisteria Lane secrets — primetime soap revival with mystery scaffolding, four women, perfect lawns, and a narrator who already knew the bodies. Lois & Clark heat came…
- Felicity Huffman as Lynette Scavo
Felicity Huffman played Lynette Scavo on Desperate Housewives — the working-mom weather on a lane that gossiped like a crime blotter. Perfect lawns, imperfect sleep, a mystery dressed as a soap. TV Flash files her as Wisteria's most…
- Marcia Cross as Bree Van de Kamp
Marcia Cross’s Bree Van de Kamp is the pressed-linen crime scene of Desperate Housewives — perfection as armor on a Wisteria Lane that gossiped like a blotter. Marc Cherry’s ABC soap dressed like a mystery; Cross played the neighbor whose…
- Eva Longoria as Gabrielle Solis
Eva Longoria played Gabrielle Solis on Desperate Housewives — Wisteria Lane glamour as a contact sport, lawns as red carpet, an HOA that gossiped like a crime blotter. TV Flash files her as the primetime soap's most camera-ready secret,…
- Nicollette Sheridan as Edie Britt
Nicollette Sheridan’s Edie Britt circled Wisteria Lane like a press kit with a pulse — real-estate glam, neighbor as rival, the fifth woman the mystery soap could not keep in the hedge. Desperate Housewives dressed like a crime blotter.…
- Brenda Strong as Mary Alice Young
Brenda Strong narrated Desperate Housewives as Mary Alice Young — the dead neighbor who made Wisteria Lane’s secrets appointment TV. Voiceover as primetime soap scaffolding. TV Flash files her as the lawn-perfect ghost who started every…