Two and a Half Men

Season 1

24 episodes

← All seasons · Show package

  1. S01E01

    Pilot

    Carefree jingle writer Charlie Harper has his lifestyle altered when his uptight brother and his 10-year-old nephew move in with him.

  2. S01E02

    Big Flappy Bastards

    Despite warnings from Charlie, Jake continues to feed seagulls on the deck and the birds invade the house. Meanwhile, Charlie thinks Judith is taking advantage of Alan, who keeps going to her house to fix things.

  3. S01E03

    Go East on Sunset Until You Reach the Gates of Hell

    Jake wants to go home to his mom after he gets sick, prompting Alan to think he's a failure as a husband and now as a father.

  4. S01E04

    If I Can't Write My Chocolate Song I'm Going to Take a Nap

    Charlie can't function when his housekeeper storms off because of Alan's constant complaints, so Alan tries desperately to woo her back. Meanwhile, Rose comes to Charlie for dating advice.

  5. S01E05

    The Last Thing You Want Is to Wind Up with a Hump

    Alan and Charlie have encounters with some highly libidinous soccer moms, but with two very different outcomes.

  6. S01E06

    Did You Check with the Captain of the Flying Monkeys?

    The guys go to Evelyn's house to meet the new man she's dating, and Charlie realizes the man's daughter is a woman he's trying to avoid.

  7. S01E07

    If They Do Go Either Way, They're Usually Fake

    Judith is upset with Alan and Charlie when she learns that a surfer who uses Charlie's shower walks around half naked in front of Jake . Then Alan's worried when Judith and the surfer become friends.

  8. S01E08

    Twenty-Five Little Pre-pubers Without a Snoot-ful

    Alan tricks Charlie into joining him and Judith in leading Jake and his classmates in the school's annual music show.

  9. S01E09

    Phase One, Complete

    Charlie is convinced that a woman who spent the night with him wants to turn their relationship into something serious after she befriends Jake and Evelyn.

  10. S01E10

    Merry Thanksgiving

    When Charlie's favorite ex announces that she is going to get married Charlie attempts to win her back. Tensions arise at a family Thanksgiving.

  11. S01E11

    Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor

    When Alan is surprised to see that Judith has had a makeover and is dating a man, he decides to have Charlie help him transform his image.

  12. S01E12

    Camel Filters + Pheromones

    Berta's granddaughter spends the day at Charlie's, which isn't a problem until he learns she's a beautiful, rebellious 16-year-old.

  13. S01E13

    Sarah Like Puny Alan

    Charlie nurses an ailing Alan back to health so they can go on a double date with two sisters, one of whom Charlie's been wanting to date for a long time.

  14. S01E14

    I Can't Afford Hyenas

    Charlie's financial manager informs the carefree jingle writer that he spends money faster than his royalty checks come in, and now he must go on a budget.

  15. S01E15

    Round One to the Hot Crazy Chick (1)

    Despite Alan's warning, Charlie falls for a seemingly crazy woman named Frankie that he meets at the garage.

  16. S01E16

    That Was Saliva, Alan (2)

    Charlie is perplexed when Frankie, the mysterious woman temporarily living in the Harper household, begins falling for Alan and not him.

  17. S01E17

    Ate the Hamburgers, Wearing the Hats

    Charlie's still brooding over Alan's choice of their cousin as Jake's guardian if both parents die when the boy has an accident while in his care and has to be rushed to the hospital.

  18. S01E18

    An Old Flame with a New Wick

    One of Charlie's ex-girlfriends is now a man. It gets better: He starts dating Evelyn, who's clueless about his past history with her son.

  19. S01E19

    I Remember the Coatroom, I Just Don't Remember You

    Judith's devious siren sister stirs things up at Jake's 11th birthday party when she hits on Alan. Meanwhile, Evelyn brings alcohol and has a party of her own.

  20. S01E20

    Hey, I Can Pee Outside in the Dark

    Jake's sullen mood baffles and bothers the family and prompts Alan and Judith to take him to a child psychologist.

  21. S01E21

    No Sniffing, No Wowing

    Charlie plays a tricky game when he gets involved with Alan's divorce lawyer, who could make things difficult for Alan if she were, say, dumped by a self-centered lothario.

  22. S01E22

    My Doctor Has a Cow Puppet

    When Charlie discovers that Alan is sleepwalking, he believes it's related to his brother's lack of sex following his divorce, and comes up with a cure.

  23. S01E23

    Just Like Buffalo

    When Jake repeats one of Charlie's sexist remarks in front of Judith's support group, the women convince Judith to stop Jake's visits with his dad and Charlie.

  24. S01E24

    Can You Feel My Finger?

    Charlie has a pregnancy scare involving one of his one-night stands and decides to go for the big "V," and we're not talking Vegas.

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